These last days I've been the victim of stupid testosterone a little too often.
On monday, when I walked from university to the station, I noticed a middle-aged man standing next to his parked car and "checking me out".
I was not the only person walking along the street, but the guy did not leave the place where he was standing.
----- UNTIIIIIL all the people before me had passed him. Then he suddenly started walking. Next to me. The sidewalk is quite broad, so I still thought it might just be a coincidence, as I was walking on the far right side and he was walking on the left. However, it was a little strange that he would not be walking in front of me after a few meters - after all I was wearing heels, so I was much slower than anyone walking in flats.
Then I saw a "shadow" in the corner of my eye - that man was not walking on the left, but in the middle of the pavement now.
On monday, when I walked from university to the station, I noticed a middle-aged man standing next to his parked car and "checking me out".
I was not the only person walking along the street, but the guy did not leave the place where he was standing.
----- UNTIIIIIL all the people before me had passed him. Then he suddenly started walking. Next to me. The sidewalk is quite broad, so I still thought it might just be a coincidence, as I was walking on the far right side and he was walking on the left. However, it was a little strange that he would not be walking in front of me after a few meters - after all I was wearing heels, so I was much slower than anyone walking in flats.
Then I saw a "shadow" in the corner of my eye - that man was not walking on the left, but in the middle of the pavement now.
W
T
F
?
?
?
T
F
?
?
?
I was still trying to ignore that man, but it was apparent now that he came closer and closer. I finally looked to the left, still having about 5% hope that he might just want to go to some place that was on the right side, and that I was "accidentally" in his way, but when I raised my eyes and looked to the left, he grinned at me with that disgusting male smile that says "I'm the alpha gorilla".
DISGUSTING.
I gave him an evil look and walked faster so that I got closer to the two young men that were walking in front of me. The alpha gorilla vanished, but I was so angry.
That man had been at least 40-something years old, I would say he was closer to 50 than 40.
WHAT did he think? I am a student! A young student! Why should I be attracted to some slimy old git?
Honestly, I don't get it.
The next day started with a man drinking beer at 11am on a train who HAD to talk to me about me using a calculator. Asking intelligent questions like "You know how to use that?"
Actually the "calculator" was my japanese translator and I was doing homework, but I would not start explaining my subject to some drunk retard.
My day was spoiled. Why could he not leave me alone?
Later, when I walked to university, there were two slimy guys throwing gestures and comments at me, but thank god there was some distance between us so I could just walk on.
After my class I had to move on to the next university. When I stood at a red traffic light a car suddenly took a sharp brake and stopped right in front of me. The side window went down and a young man stuck out his head, grinning at me. His friend who was driving the car looked at me as well, but of course his head stayed inside the car.
That car was maybe 50cm away from me, so I had been quite scared for a moment when it suddenly stopped next to me. When the guy's head came out, there were maybe 30 centimeters of distance left between us.
After a moment in shock I walked away a few meters, and then the car moved on and from behind me there were some more people coming up to the place where I was standing.
I was scared.
I know it might be stupid to be scared because of some minor thing like that, but in fact, I was scared.
Goddamnit, it was 2pm, it was in the middle of the day, it was not dark, it was not a lonely street, there were people around, but still, those guys scared me. How dare they get so close to me? Does that count as molesting?
After all, their behaviour forced me to literally escape the place where I had been standing, why the hell do they approach me like that? Why do they block my way like that?
And why the hell is it me?
Sure, I am more or less dolled up when I am at university, but when I check myself, I don't get it.
My hair is long and blonde, but plain.
My make-up is thick, but the colours are not like blue and bright red or something like that.
My face is angry and hateful all the time and clearly says "leave me alone".
My shoes are heels, but they are medium-height heels, not high heels.
My dresses or skirts went down to the knees these days.
My tights were thick, black, woollen and covered everything there is to be covered and more.
My boobs are not big.
My coat is thick and covers my whole upper body.
My back is crooked when I walk.
I am chubby.
So what is it that makes those guys give me any attention? I seriously don't get it. Can't they try their stupid ways on girls who do at least look as if they might be interested?
Is it really such an insolent wish to be able to walk to university without being on my guard all the time, watching everyone around me in order to evade potential molesters?
Is it time to change my outfit to jeans everyday, not brush my hair, not wear any make-up, eat heaps of chocolate in order to expand my butt and my skin problems, throw the contacts away and use the oldest and ugliest pair of glasses I own? Is that what destiny wants me to do?
DISGUSTING.
I gave him an evil look and walked faster so that I got closer to the two young men that were walking in front of me. The alpha gorilla vanished, but I was so angry.
That man had been at least 40-something years old, I would say he was closer to 50 than 40.
WHAT did he think? I am a student! A young student! Why should I be attracted to some slimy old git?
Honestly, I don't get it.
The next day started with a man drinking beer at 11am on a train who HAD to talk to me about me using a calculator. Asking intelligent questions like "You know how to use that?"
Actually the "calculator" was my japanese translator and I was doing homework, but I would not start explaining my subject to some drunk retard.
My day was spoiled. Why could he not leave me alone?
Later, when I walked to university, there were two slimy guys throwing gestures and comments at me, but thank god there was some distance between us so I could just walk on.
After my class I had to move on to the next university. When I stood at a red traffic light a car suddenly took a sharp brake and stopped right in front of me. The side window went down and a young man stuck out his head, grinning at me. His friend who was driving the car looked at me as well, but of course his head stayed inside the car.
That car was maybe 50cm away from me, so I had been quite scared for a moment when it suddenly stopped next to me. When the guy's head came out, there were maybe 30 centimeters of distance left between us.
After a moment in shock I walked away a few meters, and then the car moved on and from behind me there were some more people coming up to the place where I was standing.
I was scared.
I know it might be stupid to be scared because of some minor thing like that, but in fact, I was scared.
Goddamnit, it was 2pm, it was in the middle of the day, it was not dark, it was not a lonely street, there were people around, but still, those guys scared me. How dare they get so close to me? Does that count as molesting?
After all, their behaviour forced me to literally escape the place where I had been standing, why the hell do they approach me like that? Why do they block my way like that?
And why the hell is it me?
Sure, I am more or less dolled up when I am at university, but when I check myself, I don't get it.
My hair is long and blonde, but plain.
My make-up is thick, but the colours are not like blue and bright red or something like that.
My face is angry and hateful all the time and clearly says "leave me alone".
My shoes are heels, but they are medium-height heels, not high heels.
My dresses or skirts went down to the knees these days.
My tights were thick, black, woollen and covered everything there is to be covered and more.
My boobs are not big.
My coat is thick and covers my whole upper body.
My back is crooked when I walk.
I am chubby.
So what is it that makes those guys give me any attention? I seriously don't get it. Can't they try their stupid ways on girls who do at least look as if they might be interested?
Is it really such an insolent wish to be able to walk to university without being on my guard all the time, watching everyone around me in order to evade potential molesters?
Is it time to change my outfit to jeans everyday, not brush my hair, not wear any make-up, eat heaps of chocolate in order to expand my butt and my skin problems, throw the contacts away and use the oldest and ugliest pair of glasses I own? Is that what destiny wants me to do?
Aber wer könnte einer Sexbombe wie dir auch widerstehen? Ich jedenfalls nicht! ;)
ReplyDeleteAber der Punkt ist doch, dass ich ja gar nicht sexbombig da langgelaufen bin, sondern mit ganz krummem Rücken und schief und ich hab ganz böse durch die Welt geschaut.
ReplyDeleteAlso sind die anderen schuld!
Du kannst dein Sexbomben-Dasein halt nicht verbergen, egal wie buckelig du noch daherkommst ;)
ReplyDelete