My Mom’s Sweet Sixty

Is it really so long ago that this sweet sixteen chick rode her motorbike to high school? Indeed, it is. Yesterday my mother turned 60. I can tell you she doesn’t look like it, and she did even less yesterday, in her beautiful summer dress.

She had a big party in Wustermark, a country town in Brandenburg where she grew up. She hired a room there and decorated everything herself. The tables looked just great.

As the party was in mom's birthplace, my grandmother as well as many of her old friends and family were able to attend. I was really glad that my grandma was ok enough to spend some time at the party, as her health is not that good anymore. She's the best!

It was brilliant fun and everyone was in a great mood. We did a photo show that covered my mother's whole life and there were some photos even I had not known before.

My mom got a lot of cool presents, presented in a funny way with poems and stuff. For example, she got a basket filled with exactly 60 onions, accompanied with a beautifully recited poem about the thousands of benefits of onions. Everybody laughed a lot.

My brother and I did some show too. Actually, it was all my brother's idea and doing, but I was allowed to assist. He came in wearing his ThyssenKrupp boilersuit and acted as if he was doing a technical inspection of the "oldtimer", my mum. We even had a number plate made that showed her initials and birth year, to be handed to the driver, my dad. (We were so lucky to have it delivered in time, as we made the order only a few days ago.)

My brother did really well and everyone was laughing. Sooooo glad it all worked!!!

And everyone danced and ate and drank and chatted and had a good time....

Doing the Sirtaki!!!

I was really happy that my beloved cousin attended the party.

We had so much fun together. Here she wanted us to pose as Charlie's Angels, but we didn't get it in time, so we didn't do any gun fingers activity....

I'm so sad she left the next day and is by now back to California. (She left even though, as you can see, i hung onto her as tight as I could...) Who's going to eat all the leftover layer salad now?

The next day, after a SHORT night, we were really busy cleaning everything. I can tell you there are quite some benefits to living close to your long-term friends and family in a village: When we arrived for cleaning, my mom's old friend already waited to help. She stayed for several hours and helped us wash tons of dishes (the dishwasher was broken and the dishes were just as dirty as they were when we had put them in the last night), she wiped the floors, she moved tables, she cleaned the restrooms. Without her, we would have taken at least 1 hour longer, probably more. Another friend of my mom showed up later and offered her car and a ride to return the catering service's dishes. (You get a decent discount if you return the stuff yourself, and she had been a customer several times before and therefore knew exactly where to go and what to do.) My dear uncle also helped a lot, he provided salads and fresh fries for the party and helped a lot with the tidying.

Meanwhile his kitty guarded the leftover drinks with his life.

At the same time my cousin (talking about the male one this time....) pimped his car. Only some cosmetic changes, but I can tell you the inside of his car looked hilarious.....

I helped, of course......

Some anecdotes:

Party Story 1: The Catering

For the first time, my mum did not do all the cooking herself. Instead, she ordered from a catering service that did great things for friends’ parties before. The food they brought was totally amazing, it looked great, it tasted awesome.

However, the guys who delivered the food had their first day at work. They arranged the containers in the wrong way, so that it was impossible to properly take off the covers. As you can see in the pictures, the covers must be hung onto the left side, but that only works if ALL boxes are standing in the same direction. So we had to redo everything while everybody was waiting for the food. Poor guests! But we couldn’t change it.

Party Story 2: Fake Lashes Pt. 1

After many years, I saw the daughter of my mom’s friend again. She’s a year or two older than me. When we were children, I always admired her for being so pretty and stylish, with her blonde curls, fashionable clothes and pretty face.

Now she was not styled up at all. A simple ponytail, wide, comfy clothes, glasses instead of contacts. I was surprised as I’d have expected her to be a real doll, but nevertheless her modest style looked great.

Except for one little detail. She wore fake lashes. While I really love fake lashes in general I think that you should still practice the proper way of wearing them...

Well, she had the very cheap ones from essence. Those lashes are HUGE. I could clearly recognize the fake lashes from meters away, even behind her glasses. The lashes touched her eyebrows. However, it looked so strange because there was no make-up whatsoever in her face. No eyeline, no eyeshadow, nothing. Just a fat glue line where the falsies were stuck to the eyelid.

„Oh, you’re wearing falsies!“ I said, smiling. I mean, I like them and even when someone’s a beginner I like to encourage people to continue practising. However, what I thought to be a beginner turned out to be just someone who does it wrong. Here’s what she does:

She told me that she glues her lashes on and then leaves them on her eyes for one whole month. She only refastens the ends when they start to peel off. That way, she saves the money for mascara.

WTF??? Does she never properly clean her eyes???

Then she also said that men usually don’t even realize she’s wearing fake lashes, while some women ask her: „Are those real?“

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that every single woman in the world (and most men as well) KNOWS that her lashes are fake, simply because they’re so badly done. It’s just that most people are too polite to directly tell.

Fake Lashes Pt. 2

Another woman at the party wore falsies as well. Hers were not so badly done as the first ones, but I still thought the choses pair was just not fitting the facial shape. The huge Essence lashes again. However, the wearer told me she wanted to have them permanently glued to her eyes from now on. 35€ in every three weeks to have them redone, but she just loves them so much that she’ll willingly pay. Once she got used to them, she feels as if she had no lashes at all whenever she’s not wearing them.

I wanted to beg her to have her lashes done with better quality products, a little more modest, a little more fitting her eyes, not bent into the sky, but I didn’t say anything like that. It would have been impolite, and I hope the guys at the cosmetics salon will know their job.

When I talked to the ladies about the falsies, they said „Your lashes look great. You don’t need fake lashes.“ When I told them I was wearing them right now they wouldn’t believe me until I showed them where they are glued. I just hope they might take me as an inspiration as to HOW to wear fake lashes.

Party Story 3: Special Friends

Of course my mom’s „special friends“ were there again. I could deal with the woman, she’s fair enough, but I just hate the man. I hate him.

Although I tried to stay away from him, I would, of course, try to exchange a few friendly words with both of them.

When I reached out to shake his right hand, he gave me the left instead. I noticed a bandage on his right hand and said: „Oh, you’re injured.“ He nodded and said: „Now I have to wank with my left hand.“ Waiting for me to make a great response, I guess. I gave him a half-hearted, polite smile and left.

Fucking retard.

As for the conversation with the woman, her catch phrase to get my attention was: „What is your shoesize????“, looking at my feet in disbelief.

Yeah, thank you. I wore my dancing shoes which are not exactly flattering, but they look good enough and they are comfy for dancing and running around. How can she act as if my feet were disgustingly big??? Now I had to talk with her about my big feet, laughing and smiling, while I was so angry inside.

Why don’t those people have ANY manners???

Party Story 4: The Lost Keys

Some of the guests stayed at the Wustermark hotel that night. One of them, an elderly woman, successfully lost the keys to her room. So her fellows came back to the party and searched the floors for the dropped keys, but they couldn’t find them. Later they understood that the lady had not lost her keys, but left the keys in her hotel room and then locked herself out. On a saturday night at 1am, that can be quite a problem.

Unleeeeeesss one of the party guests is a hotel staff who owns a master key. So at night they drove to that guest’s home, fetched the keys and were able to let the old woman into her room where her keys were waiting.

Sometimes it’s so beneficial to live in a village!